I don't watch much TV these days. There are many good reasons why. I won't bother you with them today. I loved the good old ones like: Leave It To Beaver, The Dick Van Dyke Show, & The Cosby Show. The situations the families would get into were hilarious...or at least their reactions were hilarious.
My reaction to my life at around 12:55 was not hilarious. It was downright maddening. It reminded me of some of those sitcoms. But I must start at the beginning...

We had just finished up a good lunch and Marshall had politely asked if he could be excused. "What a good boy!" I thought. He pushed away from the table and put his milk in the fridge. I told him to go upstairs and go to the bathroom and then wash his hands. I proceeded to wipe down the counters, wash his plate, fold up his napkin and place it on his chair. Shaylen was finishing up the rest of her fruit snacks while I worked. When she was done, she also politely asked to be excused. I beamed at her. I thought, "What good kids I have!" (You must remember this...it is crucial to the plot of this story.) I excused her and told her to put her milk away and go in to the bathroom on the main floor to go to the bathroom and then wash
her hands.
My life is peaceful...
serene.
Marshall called to me from the stairs. "Mommy?" (I thought,"What is he doing on the stairs? I sent him up several minutes ago. Surely he's not done already.")
"Mommy? I want to go to the bathroom down there!" (Now, you need to know that Marshall is a fearful child. He is afraid of the towel holder in the upstairs bathroom when the lights reflect off of it. He says it looks like a "serious creature staring anxiously at him".)
"No," I say. "You need to obey, not argue and go upstairs. It is okay to use the bathroom upstairs," I say firmly.
He goes. ("Whew")
As I round the corner to go back into the kitchen, I see Shaylen come running out of the downstairs bathroom yelling, "Mommy, come help me! Something is very wrong with the potty when I flush it!"
As I went into the bathroom I heard it. Water rushing. I looked. Water was flowing out of the toilet bowl and all over the floor. I grabbed a few towels to get under the bowl to sop up the water. That wasn't going to cut it. There was water running toward the bath mat, the heat register, and all around the base of the toilet. It was continually running. I had to stop the water. So I did what any sensible woman would do, I turned the main water off. Only...it didn't work. Remind me to tell Taigen that it doesn't work. Remind me to tell him that it only
slows the flow. Great! The toilet bowl was full. Why was the water still running? I lifted off the decorative items from the toilet lid and opened up the toilet tank. The plug had decided to rebel and stay in place so that the water would keep running. I shove the plug down. The tank starts filling.
Shaylen decided to help me by saying, "Mommy, I need to go potty and poo-poo!" (Maybe she had been playing in here instead of going to the bathroom when I had told her to.)
"Go upstairs."
I now grabbed my entire bag of rags, all the old towels in the laundry closet and the old hand towel on the counter that I use for the kids during the day. It isn't enough. The bath mat is now soaked and so are my knees.
I hear Shaylen crying and call to her, "Shaylen, come here, honey!"
More crying...um...let's call it
wailing. (Shaylen is a GIRL. She tends to overreact and cry.)
I get up, leave the mess and go to find out what is wrong.
"Marshall won't let me into the bathroom." I look and Marshall is sitting on the potty still.
"Are you done?"
"No."
I grab a stack of old hand towels from the upstairs linen closet
and Shaylen and rush down to the bathroom. She says, "I don't want to go poo-poo in my panties!"
I run faster.
I plop the towels on the floor around the toilet and pull Shaylen's pants down and set her on the toilet. She asks, "Is the toilet broken?" I laugh.
Marshall starts yelling from upstairs,
"I WENT POO-POO! CAN YOU WIPE ME?"
If that wasn't enough he yells louder, "I WENT POO-POO! CAN YOU WIPE ME?"
Shaylen says, "Mommy, my socks are wet!"
"I WENT POO-POO! CAN YOU WIPE ME?"
"Mommy, my socks are wet!"
Dear Reader...You're laughing at me, aren't you?
Well, as I sit here typing, the house is peaceful...serene. My toilet is back to normal. My bathroom floor is sparkling clean. It has been dried off, then washed with antibacterial spray, then sprayed down with Clorox Anywhere disinfecting spray. I have changed my clothes. My rags and old towels are soaking in bleach/detergent mixture in the washing machine. I have read to the kids, kissed them both good-night and put them down for naps. I breathe a collective sigh of relief.
I laugh.